operation harelip BJ is a go
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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