Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
