420 ftw
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
