...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
