you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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