No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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