What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
