Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
