your thong is hanging out like whoa
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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