ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
