I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
