i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
My vagina is officially offended.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
