All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
