I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
