yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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