I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
