Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Bring me that man meat
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
