I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
