Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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