You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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