And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
no you cant smoke seaweed
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
