shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
