i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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