exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
