Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
