No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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