but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
What a dumb baby whore.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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