Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
