and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
