i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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