I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
