You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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