so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
