Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
my liver is dry heaving
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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