I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
sick fucks of a feather flock together
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
