you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
