Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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