But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
