Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize
