I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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