i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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