If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
