dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
