They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
