i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
