Non-Jews are for practice
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
