It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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