Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
