Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
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