Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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